Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Feb 11, 2019 2:07:04 GMT
For Lord Simian.
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Post by Amoebas on Feb 11, 2019 2:13:48 GMT
Apparently I have to write my OWN fuckmothering Necromancer valentine poem...! #dontmindme #lowkeyfrustration #artistwoes
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Jesse
Junior Member
Posts: 64
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Post by Jesse on Feb 11, 2019 4:41:36 GMT
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Post by achilles on Feb 11, 2019 4:47:23 GMT
Apparently I have to write my OWN fuckmothering Necromancer valentine poem...! #dontmindme #lowkeyfrustration #artistwoes That's a pretty good idea, but I like to try mad science and black magic first.
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Post by achilles on Feb 11, 2019 4:54:44 GMT
Hey man If you wanna be blugeoned to death, all you gotta do is say so No need for this... Besides...everyone knows he goes by The Zech. Or I AM A FOOLISH FOOL!!!?
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Post by Grayson on Feb 11, 2019 5:23:53 GMT
Well, I watched the newest trailer for Disney's live action remake of Aladdin...I really wish that I wouldn't have done that.
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Post by Scintillant-He/Him on Feb 11, 2019 18:47:02 GMT
Well, I watched the newest trailer for Disney's live action remake of Aladdin...I really wish that I wouldn't have done that. Forget poetry woes, aRE YOU OKAY, MAN
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Post by Grayson on Feb 11, 2019 20:20:22 GMT
Well, I watched the newest trailer for Disney's live action remake of Aladdin...I really wish that I wouldn't have done that. Forget poetry woes, aRE YOU OKAY, MAN Yeah, why wouldn't I be?
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Post by Johnny Smith on Feb 11, 2019 21:02:33 GMT
I've got a front row seat for the great Grayson meltdown of 2019
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Feb 11, 2019 21:52:38 GMT
I've got a front row seat for the great Grayson meltdown of 2019
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Post by Grayson on Feb 11, 2019 22:42:45 GMT
I've got a front row seat for the great Grayson meltdown of 2019 What's this now?
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Post by TATTOO_JESUS on Feb 11, 2019 23:34:16 GMT
I need some where to let some things on my chest and I don't want to post it all over social media because I don't want to get into with certain family members.
I'm scared. I have had 3 heart attacks in less that 5 years. First was in January of 2014, second of was April of 2017, and most recent was January of 2019. First was a pretty minor heart attack but the second two are what doctors call the "Widow Maker" as my main artery was 100% blocked both times. I obviously have been extremely lucky to survive them all but this time something just feels different. I am more tired, all the time, like I have tried to do things around the house that should be easy and after a few minutes I have to sit down. I have tried to go back to work but even only working half shifts of 4 hours, I'm spent. I come home and I can only stay awake for like 30 minutes to an hour and then I fall asleep no matter how hard I try to stay away. I am just very worried that I am not gonna recover this time, and that as morbid as it may sound my days on this Earth are numbered. I'm gonna be 47 in two months, that is extremely young to have the heart problems that I do. All my heart problems are purely genetic as well because I don't drink, don't smoke, am not overweight. No I don't eat as healthy as I should but I am trying. My father had quadruple bypass surgery a few years ago so I get the bad heart from his side of the family. My parents are divorced so I don't know much other family history from his side seeing as I haven't spoken to him in like 30 plus years. My Grandmother on my mothers side had two Bypass Surgeries and was on blood thinners for as long as I can remember. She lived to be 80. My Mom and my Aunt both have been on medication for most of their adult life for high cholesterol, which is one of the things that causes the blockage in my heart. Where I start to get really scared and worried is my Uncle, my moms brother. He was 42 years old same age as me when he had his first heart attack. He had one successful bypass surgery, the second time he was not so lucky as he died on the operating table during his second bypass. He was only 58 years old when he died and had not had as many heart attacks as I have already had. Like I said I will 47 in 2 months, that's only 11 years from 58 if I am lucky to make it that far and die the same age as him. Now you can say but your grandma made it to 80, well she didn't have as many heart attacks as me either and didn't start having the issues until she was much older than I am. Right now my heart is working at about 30% to 35%, the normal person works between 50% and 70%, so I am way low and at very high risk for heart failure. I take 6 different types of medication a day, trying to regulate my blood pressure, thin my blood, and strengthen my heart. I start cardio rehab this Thursday to try exercises that can help strengthen my heart muscle as well. The doctors want me to try this for 3 months and see where I am at before we start discussing surgery options. I am just worried scared right now that it's not going to get any better, that's very bleak outlook to have I know but it is hard for me to be overly positive about it right now. I don't know guys, sorry if this brought you all down. I have tried talking to my mom and my wife about it but they get to upset and can't handle the though of losing me so I try not to bring it up around them if at all possible, but people that know me know I have not been the same since I came out of the hospital this time, they can tell I am worried, that I have anxiety about all this and that I am just not the me I was before, and I am so scared. I want to see my son Connor grow up, he's only 12 years old right now and if he hadn't been with me the second time I have my heart attack then I wouldn't be typing this today, he really did save my life that day. I want to spend more years, many more years with my wife, I love her more than words can say. I just don't feel like I am gonna make it this time. I am so weak and fatigued all the time, I just don't know right now and it's just seems to be getting harder every day to not fall into a state of depression that I really do not want to get into because I know it would do nothing but hinder my recovery. Thank you to anyone that took the time to read this and I apologize if it was not the place to post something like this.
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Post by noctournem on Feb 11, 2019 23:59:52 GMT
I need some where to let some things on my chest and I don't want to post it all over social media because I don't want to get into with certain family members. I'm scared. I have had 3 heart attacks in less that 5 years. First was in January of 2014, second of was April of 2017, and most recent was January of 2019. First was a pretty minor heart attack but the second two are what doctors call the "Widow Maker" as my main artery was 100% blocked both times. I obviously have been extremely lucky to survive them all but this time something just feels different. I am more tired, all the time, like I have tried to do things around the house that should be easy and after a few minutes I have to sit down. I have tried to go back to work but even only working half shifts of 4 hours, I'm spent. I come home and I can only stay awake for like 30 minutes to an hour and then I fall asleep no matter how hard I try to stay away. I am just very worried that I am not gonna recover this time, and that as morbid as it may sound my days on this Earth are numbered. I'm gonna be 47 in two months, that is extremely young to have the heart problems that I do. All my heart problems are purely genetic as well because I don't drink, don't smoke, am not overweight. No I don't eat as healthy as I should but I am trying. My father had quadruple bypass surgery a few years ago so I get the bad heart from his side of the family. My parents are divorced so I don't know much other family history from his side seeing as I haven't spoken to him in like 30 plus years. My Grandmother on my mothers side had two Bypass Surgeries and was on blood thinners for as long as I can remember. She lived to be 80. My Mom and my Aunt both have been on medication for most of their adult life for high cholesterol, which is one of the things that causes the blockage in my heart. Where I start to get really scared and worried is my Uncle, my moms brother. He was 42 years old same age as me when he had his first heart attack. He had one successful bypass surgery, the second time he was not so lucky as he died on the operating table during his second bypass. He was only 58 years old when he died and had not had as many heart attacks as I have already had. Like I said I will 47 in 2 months, that's only 11 years from 58 if I am lucky to make it that far and die the same age as him. Now you can say but your grandma made it to 80, well she didn't have as many heart attacks as me either and didn't start having the issues until she was much older than I am. Right now my heart is working at about 30% to 35%, the normal person works between 50% and 70%, so I am way low and at very high risk for heart failure. I take 6 different types of medication a day, trying to regulate my blood pressure, thin my blood, and strengthen my heart. I start cardio rehab this Thursday to try exercises that can help strengthen my heart muscle as well. The doctors want me to try this for 3 months and see where I am at before we start discussing surgery options. I am just worried scared right now that it's not going to get any better, that's very bleak outlook to have I know but it is hard for me to be overly positive about it right now. I don't know guys, sorry if this brought you all down. I have tried talking to my mom and my wife about it but they get to upset and can't handle the though of losing me so I try not to bring it up around them if at all possible, but people that know me know I have not been the same since I came out of the hospital this time, they can tell I am worried, that I have anxiety about all this and that I am just not the me I was before, and I am so scared. I want to see my son Connor grow up, he's only 12 years old right now and if he hadn't been with me the second time I have my heart attack then I wouldn't be typing this today, he really did save my life that day. I want to spend more years, many more years with my wife, I love her more than words can say. I just don't feel like I am gonna make it this time. I am so weak and fatigued all the time, I just don't know right now and it's just seems to be getting harder every day to not fall into a state of depression that I really do not want to get into because I know it would do nothing but hinder my recovery. Thank you to anyone that took the time to read this and I apologize if it was not the place to post something like this. Everywhere is the right place to post something like this, we're here for you
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Post by achilles on Feb 12, 2019 0:13:06 GMT
I need some where to let some things on my chest and I don't want to post it all over social media because I don't want to get into with certain family members. I'm scared. I have had 3 heart attacks in less that 5 years. First was in January of 2014, second of was April of 2017, and most recent was January of 2019. First was a pretty minor heart attack but the second two are what doctors call the "Widow Maker" as my main artery was 100% blocked both times. I obviously have been extremely lucky to survive them all but this time something just feels different. I am more tired, all the time, like I have tried to do things around the house that should be easy and after a few minutes I have to sit down. I have tried to go back to work but even only working half shifts of 4 hours, I'm spent. I come home and I can only stay awake for like 30 minutes to an hour and then I fall asleep no matter how hard I try to stay away. I am just very worried that I am not gonna recover this time, and that as morbid as it may sound my days on this Earth are numbered. I'm gonna be 47 in two months, that is extremely young to have the heart problems that I do. All my heart problems are purely genetic as well because I don't drink, don't smoke, am not overweight. No I don't eat as healthy as I should but I am trying. My father had quadruple bypass surgery a few years ago so I get the bad heart from his side of the family. My parents are divorced so I don't know much other family history from his side seeing as I haven't spoken to him in like 30 plus years. My Grandmother on my mothers side had two Bypass Surgeries and was on blood thinners for as long as I can remember. She lived to be 80. My Mom and my Aunt both have been on medication for most of their adult life for high cholesterol, which is one of the things that causes the blockage in my heart. Where I start to get really scared and worried is my Uncle, my moms brother. He was 42 years old same age as me when he had his first heart attack. He had one successful bypass surgery, the second time he was not so lucky as he died on the operating table during his second bypass. He was only 58 years old when he died and had not had as many heart attacks as I have already had. Like I said I will 47 in 2 months, that's only 11 years from 58 if I am lucky to make it that far and die the same age as him. Now you can say but your grandma made it to 80, well she didn't have as many heart attacks as me either and didn't start having the issues until she was much older than I am. Right now my heart is working at about 30% to 35%, the normal person works between 50% and 70%, so I am way low and at very high risk for heart failure. I take 6 different types of medication a day, trying to regulate my blood pressure, thin my blood, and strengthen my heart. I start cardio rehab this Thursday to try exercises that can help strengthen my heart muscle as well. The doctors want me to try this for 3 months and see where I am at before we start discussing surgery options. I am just worried scared right now that it's not going to get any better, that's very bleak outlook to have I know but it is hard for me to be overly positive about it right now. I don't know guys, sorry if this brought you all down. I have tried talking to my mom and my wife about it but they get to upset and can't handle the though of losing me so I try not to bring it up around them if at all possible, but people that know me know I have not been the same since I came out of the hospital this time, they can tell I am worried, that I have anxiety about all this and that I am just not the me I was before, and I am so scared. I want to see my son Connor grow up, he's only 12 years old right now and if he hadn't been with me the second time I have my heart attack then I wouldn't be typing this today, he really did save my life that day. I want to spend more years, many more years with my wife, I love her more than words can say. I just don't feel like I am gonna make it this time. I am so weak and fatigued all the time, I just don't know right now and it's just seems to be getting harder every day to not fall into a state of depression that I really do not want to get into because I know it would do nothing but hinder my recovery. Thank you to anyone that took the time to read this and I apologize if it was not the place to post something like this. It's a great place to post it. And as Noc said, we're here for you. I just wish I couldn't sympathize so...personally. I was just at my doctor today for a routine check-up...and he stopped after listening to my heart and asked me if I'd ever had anyone mention anything about it. Then he order an EKG. By then, yes, fairly worried. And...yes, the EKG did find something. Called it a PVC, showed it to me on the tape, was a spike WAY higher than anything else, so even I could see it. Told me not to worry, it wasn't dangerous, and they don't know what causes it. Thing is, my family, no matter what they have, ALL ultimately dies of heart issues. So...yeah, right now, I'm VERY worried, especially as he said he'll have to watch it closely, because if those spikes start coming closer together, yes, then it IS something to worry about. Anyhow, I'm going to have myself a nice bit of whiskey, something I almost never do, because I've got this horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach. Feel free to post or PM me anytime if you need to talk.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Feb 12, 2019 0:25:25 GMT
I need some where to let some things on my chest and I don't want to post it all over social media because I don't want to get into with certain family members. I'm scared. I have had 3 heart attacks in less that 5 years. First was in January of 2014, second of was April of 2017, and most recent was January of 2019. First was a pretty minor heart attack but the second two are what doctors call the "Widow Maker" as my main artery was 100% blocked both times. I obviously have been extremely lucky to survive them all but this time something just feels different. I am more tired, all the time, like I have tried to do things around the house that should be easy and after a few minutes I have to sit down. I have tried to go back to work but even only working half shifts of 4 hours, I'm spent. I come home and I can only stay awake for like 30 minutes to an hour and then I fall asleep no matter how hard I try to stay away. I am just very worried that I am not gonna recover this time, and that as morbid as it may sound my days on this Earth are numbered. I'm gonna be 47 in two months, that is extremely young to have the heart problems that I do. All my heart problems are purely genetic as well because I don't drink, don't smoke, am not overweight. No I don't eat as healthy as I should but I am trying. My father had quadruple bypass surgery a few years ago so I get the bad heart from his side of the family. My parents are divorced so I don't know much other family history from his side seeing as I haven't spoken to him in like 30 plus years. My Grandmother on my mothers side had two Bypass Surgeries and was on blood thinners for as long as I can remember. She lived to be 80. My Mom and my Aunt both have been on medication for most of their adult life for high cholesterol, which is one of the things that causes the blockage in my heart. Where I start to get really scared and worried is my Uncle, my moms brother. He was 42 years old same age as me when he had his first heart attack. He had one successful bypass surgery, the second time he was not so lucky as he died on the operating table during his second bypass. He was only 58 years old when he died and had not had as many heart attacks as I have already had. Like I said I will 47 in 2 months, that's only 11 years from 58 if I am lucky to make it that far and die the same age as him. Now you can say but your grandma made it to 80, well she didn't have as many heart attacks as me either and didn't start having the issues until she was much older than I am. Right now my heart is working at about 30% to 35%, the normal person works between 50% and 70%, so I am way low and at very high risk for heart failure. I take 6 different types of medication a day, trying to regulate my blood pressure, thin my blood, and strengthen my heart. I start cardio rehab this Thursday to try exercises that can help strengthen my heart muscle as well. The doctors want me to try this for 3 months and see where I am at before we start discussing surgery options. I am just worried scared right now that it's not going to get any better, that's very bleak outlook to have I know but it is hard for me to be overly positive about it right now. I don't know guys, sorry if this brought you all down. I have tried talking to my mom and my wife about it but they get to upset and can't handle the though of losing me so I try not to bring it up around them if at all possible, but people that know me know I have not been the same since I came out of the hospital this time, they can tell I am worried, that I have anxiety about all this and that I am just not the me I was before, and I am so scared. I want to see my son Connor grow up, he's only 12 years old right now and if he hadn't been with me the second time I have my heart attack then I wouldn't be typing this today, he really did save my life that day. I want to spend more years, many more years with my wife, I love her more than words can say. I just don't feel like I am gonna make it this time. I am so weak and fatigued all the time, I just don't know right now and it's just seems to be getting harder every day to not fall into a state of depression that I really do not want to get into because I know it would do nothing but hinder my recovery. Thank you to anyone that took the time to read this and I apologize if it was not the place to post something like this. As a fellow who has survived a heart attack myself, I understand a little of where you are coming from. Strength brotherman.
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